Al kinds of handy advise I give to you my friends when I think of it.
*Erections are supposed to be fun! Smile, open your eyes wide and nod your head confirming when the event arises.
*Ever get tired of all these people telling you "I'm sure you haven't heard this one before!" Bullshit I heard, she heard and he heard about 5 days in a row. That btw is the passing date because then they start multiplying into different versions (varying on pointy views).
Anyway my solution=>
"Her lesbian elbow farts are getting somewhat rusty, she should move them back to her armpits."
I'm sure you never heard that one.
*If you don't like laughing gas, never look directly into a clowns asshole.
*Blow your nose before before you travel back in time. Nobody wants that shit in the gene pool.
*Yes it is important to lower the toilet seat when you're done, but then again it is even more important to lift it when you begin.
*Warning!* I don't know what it is, but you should really watch out for it!
*when hitchhiking it's generally a good idea to avoid the pose "with thumbs up his ass".
*"that's what she said" is a catchphrase best left behind at some events, such as a funeral.
*When puking overboard make sure you're on the ship.
*Smelling your armpit can be a clear and direct sign to the other person in the conversation that you don't really care about what he has to say. Sometimes you just have to take an interest in your body odor you know...
"funny thing about parents: nobody reaaaaaally likes most of em but you also gotta admit they're the biggest issue you'll ever have so you better learn to like em."
"If you go to a plastic surgeon you'll understand the real meaning of "nose-picking", which one do you like best?"
*Try this one out if you like: go outside and walk up to the very first person you meet. Then kick the shit out of him and proceed to do so until he's blue, red, purple and all other colors of the rainbow. When that ordeal is over tell him in a most serious matter "I sincerely respect you sir." Who knows he might appreciate it. If he does you got yourself a friend for life...nah lets not trick ourselves into believing that, it is however a foolproof way of getting your ass sued.
*In case you bought your dog a rubber chicken toy, don't be suprised you start laying rubber eggs?!
Subject: Tuttertips and trickermuts 