Since nobody gives a flying turd about this forum (no seriously I asked, but nobody has them) I just figured I might aswel put up some "diary"-eque things.
Topics where I update the posts accordingly. Such as the "kick the ibanhead in the nuts"-topic, witch is sort of on hold atm, since I'm waiting for new preamp tubes to arrive and looking around for some plexi. Anyways, do I expect people to read these? Beeing the slow and lonely forum this is, no, but feel free to chime in, reply or make fun of me at any given time as you please.
So what is this topic then? Yes indeed a novel. A train station paperback,...or since I'm writing it, it'll be a train wreck.
So of we go:
Dashingly a young fellow in his twenties looked up in front of me, putting us face to face. Witch I must admit was kind of awkward, I love beeing face to face, when I comes to good looking girls but this was just getting creepy. The fact that I was on al fours crawling around in my underwear didn't help anything either. Wondering who the guy was and what the jibblies he was doing here I wanted to inquiry to what his business was. But as soon as I opened my mouth so did he. Yes indeed very awkward beeing face to face on al fours and al. So I decided to spew out the first tone that could be the start of a sentence when that guy startled me by doing exaclty the same at the exact same time. That was the final straw for me, and a pretty short one as wel. Coming uninvited into my room at night is one thing. But making me feel uncomfortable whilst wearing underpants sure is another. I jumped at him like a wrestler, I was gonna beat the crap out of that motherfragger like it was fridaynight with a new video game.
But helas no heart pounding fighting scene, no gnawing teeth and I didn't get to whoop his ass(not that I'm intrested in his ass mind you). No I was greeted by the fresh sound of breaking glass. Aah the things you meet crawling around at night are suprising. Such as a mirror.
Surely I hurt myself but it was okay, only a minor scratch in my right arm. Witch was needless to say, still attached. But I'll say it nonetheless. I decided I had enough of it for one night and crawled back to my bed, since I was already horizontal there was no point in getting up, only to lay down again after that. I tucked myself in tight and started daydreaming, but then ofcourse at night witch resulted into a nightdream witch I'll never forget.
but more on that later...
end 9 September 07.
Like most times I lay down I started by thinking about what I had been doing that day, what I was going to do the next day. Followed by some thoughts that just happened to pass by. Whether it was something emerging from the past, pure fiction or a bit of both.
It came to a point where I was daydreaming just before slumber about a place deep inside of me. This is no ordinary place among my guts mind you. Very deep beyond the woods of guts even past the canyon of my bones. Lies this place inside a forest, a very peace full place. A small spot of the greenest grass one ever dreamed of, bathing in the sunlight. Surrounded by trees, bushes and a cute little stream runs under the brenches. I was just sitting there minding my own business, enjoying the sunlight and the green grass that kept me from sitting on muddy sand and earthworms beneath it. When all of a sudden this same guy I wanted to wrestle earlier was staring into my face again. The nerve, you'd think I made my point clear the first time. He was asking for it.
Without hesitation I jumped up at him, while all of a sudden he grabbed me by the wrists and pulled me up. Up into the air, back through the canyon of bones and the forest of guts. I had no idea where he was taking me and it was going pretty fast. I tried to resist but he was pretty stubborn about taking me with him. Once arrived back between the sheets of my bed I hoped to get some sleep but I didn't get any. There was a small square shaped mirror floating above my bed. And only that, that staring person was still there as well. The mirrorguy tapped me on the shoulder and pointed me to follow him. I refused and was going to ask him what his business was once again. But no cigar, not even cigarette. He pulled me by my wrists again, through the little floating mirror. This was going to be a long night...
end 10 September 2007
It was al pretty much in bad taste, one moment we're flying through someone else's bone canyon, the next we're flying through some digestion highways. Some of them had traffic jams. Next to that I didn't want to be there in the first place. It's like coming uninvited to the party that never was. Once arrived in another bed, wich I presumed was his, I finally got to kick his ass. I striked him hard on the face, pushed him around and shouted what the "portapotty" was wrong with him. But it didn't get to him, he didn't even answer me.
Weird thing that was swimming among the rest of the obscure facts at that moment. Was that he hardly fought back as well. He sort of floated around and dodged my cursing fists. He was just making me tired and the fight wasn't going anywhere so I decided to sit down and Ignore the arrogant prick that he was. He came sitting next to me doing that staring thing again for a few seconds and said "oh alright, but I'll be back in a while".
I was so tired I made use of his bed, that's the least he should allow me after al that nonsense. So what had I been doing? Got annoyed by mirrorguy, broke his face, started nightdreaming, got annoyed again,...mmhhh the silky sun and the green grass,...
End 11 September 2007
gnnn...muh? pfffofcourse-heh...Donworri sweets...can go on for another 3 times in fact...phhhfsuresure,...you don't get to make love with 2 girls likeyou-yourself every 12 pm day....is nice...
...
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Aahw man, it was only a JAAAAA-morning-mare-AAAWN, pfff I mean a nightheaven erm dream. So where are we then? Lets see...
Ah crap. Hey you, pull yourself together man!!! Oh well, I guess that broken mirror isn't going to clean itself up, let alone repairing. Or even my mind for that matter.
Coffee now, one mug to clear mine, point push button, alright...
Sugar? sure tha... mhh sugar, sugar,... No not sugar, the real sweetness... I have to remember this one.
Ah now I remember, those hot girls! YES! This day is going to be nice remembering that. They looked like twins even. Or was there just one? Anyways nice dream. Glad the ladies enjoyed the ride, because I sure did.
I can remember that morning like it was tomorrow night, I mean yesterday.
End 13 September 2007
Like most days after I slurped my way through my first coffee and strummpeld around the kitchen for a few minutes I turned on my computer and checked my email. At the time it wasn't actually worth checking really. Where most people got spammed about porn and male enhancers, I got the boring ones. Financial plans and bargains on mirrors.
With the never tiring quotes as "don't break your piggybank, well cut our prices so you don't have to cut your fingers", "order now and get a free country" or "act now while you still can!". As a kid I used to enjoy acting school plays, or at least the ones where I wasn't bullied around for beeing part of it (witch was never). I can only respect actors though (or at least the good ones). It's like when you're on stage you're forced to dream in front of everybody else. And as we al know, you haven't got the tiniest grip on what you're about to dream. Who knows you might be dreaming about you wetting your pants in front of that hot girl in the front row. If it ain't that you'll probably dream about getting it down with that same girl, preferable backstage instead of front row. But in-steady nonetheless. All in all most of ones childhood at school is like that. Embarrassment and shame await around every corner.
end 15 September 2007
So I was driving to work in a still waking state, which is actually not advisable but hej a man's got to make a living and get to work "timely". I'd rather interpret that a little lighter then my boss would. Anyway, I was suddenly creeped out by the fact that that mirror guy might show up when I was looking into one of the cars mirrors, and what then? I'd be screwed for screwing over things and *gulp* perhaps people too. But luckily he left me alone, at least he's got a little sensibility when safety is in order. Driving further I noticed this store that sold all kinds of wicka and tarot related books and all kinds of stuff that most people wouldn't have a clue about. I'm one of those. The window of the store said "Mother shinka's tarrot and wicka store" and the little subtitle said "we will gladly help you sort out problems of mystical nature". That got me thinking, I might barge in there and throw my mirror adventure all over the place and be done with it. But then again, I'm actually kind of curious what else is going on in that place, besides they wouldn't believe me anyway. Then one of those fuzzy days where your head is anywhere but at the job started...
End 24 september 2007
It was one of those days at work that seem to craaaaaawl by like a snail or something of equal or lesser speed value. Merely because of the fact that I was elsewhere with my mind all day trying to figure out what the frippin flip actually happened. I was actually kind of hoping somebody would notice and ask me how I was doing, preferably some nice girl. But I didn't feel like showing it of either. At a certain point it just got too much to me, I was staring blank and the chief walked by already twice to tell me to pick up the pace. I went ahead and gave that good ol toilet break a go. So I walked down the hall toward the toilets. I was about to open the door when I suddenly realized that there was a big mirror there. Bigger chance of it happening again? But what the hej, I gotta go anyway and you can't hide forever. So I did my stuff that I had to and washed my face with some nice sparkly fresh water. And oh yes, when I looked up into the mirror there he was again. That guy, only this time he had a rather nice looking female companion with him. They were sitting in the mirror version of the bathroom witch looked more like a nice and cozy living room then a crapdisposal, having a nice conversation, naked. Just sitting in a chair across from each other making nice smalltalk. They noticed me but they didn't mind me watching at all. It was actually quite heartwarming and friendly despite the fact that it was happening again.
After a minute or so they al of a sudden looked past me with that "oh no!" expression on their face. He pointed at the door behind me and they waved me goodbye. What a nice meeting that was. If only more people could be like that.
So I turned around to see my chief standing there behind me.
"Say, I'm a bit disappointed in you today. Any idea why that is?" I knew I was in shit but you better answer when spo ken to. "Uh yes sir I haven't been working as hard as usual today, but I'll jump right into it". A positive attitude towards angry people has been known to go either two directions, it captivates the person and he will become positively influenced as well. Or the person in question gets enraged even more in which case you may notice his rage had been building up longer. This time the following happened : His face twitched there for a second and then he replyd "Exactly!" And then he lowered his voice "that and also the fact that I find you gazing and smiling into the mirror like a moron while you could have been working. Let me tell you son, your(r)habits are none of my business but you don't do any more weed on this here work floor or your fired, you got that!?". I don't remember exactly what I replyd but I do remember already marching back towards my desk while doing so.
And the day moved on,...like a snail...
End 3 November 2007
After that the day at the office just went by like any other. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing special just another boring day in this boring life on this boring and beyond fucked up planet. I didn't even feel remotely awkward after what happened in the toilets there. Why should I, can I help it the chief doesn't get invited into mirror world? I bet it's because he's such an poohole. Once I was home after work I went straight into the bathroom and stared into the mirror for about fourty minutes Sure gets interesting after a while. You know it's like doing something entirely new. At the start nothing works you got your hands tied, but after pushing and pushing you start to get a little movement. I didn't manage anything special this time. I think I pushed my finger through the mirror at one point. But it got boring real fast. I was more concerned about what there was to see. That mirror guy wasn't there, neither was his good looking friend. I suppose I should have called them or something. But like all new things, you want to try it on your own after a while. Tried looking at it from all possible directions, putting my face flat to the mirror and I tried looking into the sides. I think I even considered breaking it out of the wall to see what was going on beneath the hood of this baby but then I figured only idiots in movies do that.
And I'm certainly an Idiot, but I'm not in a movie. And if I was, well then I bet I'd be a side or even a two dimensional background character. I sure looked pretty 3d in the mirror, but couldn't touch it.
What a boring life sometimes.
End 4 November 2007
So around I midnight I couldn't sleep and I figured what the hej, life sucks mirrors swallow me and spit me out, might as well give reality a spin as it is and go for it. Took a bottle of fine liquor that I had been saving for a special occasion but since we're talking about my life here there's no point in waiting.
And it tasted really really good. And you know why, it was a fine liquor to be sure, but another thing was that I was drinking only for me. That's right I didn't feel like getting drunk for sobbing about somebody else, I wasn't getting drunk for fitting in. It was all about me. Masturbation if you will. So I giggled my way to the mirror and started poking around some. And like trying to find the keyhole when getting home from a party I had to swing around a couple of times but finally my finger got in there, yes sir! Funny thing was this time around my finger seemed to be very pleasing to the mirror because it had all kinds of rainbow stuff going on around the tiny hole. Yeah it was all coming back to me now man, only one sip more and....whaaaa! That's where my finger slipped and I got stuck in there shoulder deep. The rainbows where going nuts. And I had all the bottle filling that I needed to last some. But I was still drunk so I reached out with my other arm to the cabinet and pulled out some liquid bottles and started drinking from there. Tasted like sour piss but it sure made some colors(or well the mirror was).
Boy where we having fun now. Eventually the mirror pulled me in. It was a warm and trippy kind of feeling....
Round and roundabout...
End 6 November 2007
Story continues a few posts bellow.
Subject: Tuttermuts is gonna write a novelty novel. 
